Greenskins: Goblins, Hobgoblins, and Orcs

To most humans, dwarves, and elves, the relationship between goblins, hobgoblins, and orcs is obscure. There are many popular theories of this among humans and dwarves especially, whose ancestral lands have in centuries past been nearly overrun by Green Hordes. The most widespread view is that goblins, hobgoblins, and orcs are related but distinct kinds, akin to variants of domesticated animals, all of whom dwell under the rule of the orcs. After all, the three greenskin races share the same tough skin, ranging in color from brownish-green to dark grass green, all live together, and usually fight together. But their differences in size, strength, and intelligence are dramatic, especially between goblins and hobgoblins (though hobgoblins, for their part, don't seem to be too much less intelligent than orcs). Another, less popular view claims that greenskins are a single species with three biological castes, like ants or bees. Proponents of this view recognize that the properties of goblins, hobgoblins, and orcs are not clearly analogous to the biological castes of any other species. Goblins are stupid and weak, but are obviously the most numerous and are clearly independently fertile; isolated goblin infestations pose problems all over the continent. Orcs, meanwhile, are nothing like queen bees. And no one knows what the hell the deal with hobgoblins is.

Basically every theory humans and dwarves have come up with concerning this question is wrong. To be fair to them, the greenskins do a good job of keeping things secret.

The Greenskin Life Cycle

Goblins are the earliest stage in the life cycle of greenskins. Hobgoblins are the second, and orcs are the last. When a goblin is ready to become a hobgoblin (and the process is repeated for a hobgoblin becoming an orc), they start overeating as much as possible, until they are grotesquely obese. Then they are hidden by their fellow goblins, usually by being buried alive. A cocoon forms around the goblin, and the entirety of the organism dissolves into a soup of biomolecules and disorganized cells, save for their central nervous system, which is kept safe inside of a thin membrane that greenskins call a "brain bag." A new hobgoblin body forms inside the cocoon around the brain bag, and the brain bag eventually dissolves so as to allow the brain to connect to its new body's peripheral nervous system. Throughout this process, the goblin dreams incessantly while their brain grows bigger and more efficient inside the brain bag. Every orc will tell you that the dreams are terribly unpleasant going from goblin to hobgoblin, and even worse going from hobgoblin to orc (1).

After the new body has finished forming, there's only a short time for someone else to bring it out of hiding before it dissolves. If it dissolves while its inhabitant is still buried alive, they'll die, so greenskins track how long it's been since someone went into their cocoon, and start checking them frequently to see if they're finished. They do this by squeezing the cocoon to see if the toes have formed, since the toes always form last. When the cocoon dissolves, the only muscle that works is the heart, because muscle memory for everything else gets lost from the newly minted hobgoblin or orc losing their old body. Their family or friends spend weeks blowing air into their lungs, pouring blood (for water and nutrients) into a tube down their esophagus, and moving them around while they relearn how to breathe, swallow, and otherwise function normally. But assuming they're kept alive, as if by magic, they always manage to adapt to their new body rapidly, and soon enjoy their new size, strength, and intelligence, while retaining much of their memory and personality.

But Why?

The greenskins themselves aren't totally sure, but they're pretty sure. Their pretty sure that their odd life cycle isn't natural, and is actually just magic. The same sense of revulsion that is provoked by being near someone casting magic (see "What is a spell?") is felt standing near a greenskin's cocoon while their new body is still forming, and doesn't go away until the toes are finished. And it also just seems too freaky, even to them, to be a mundane phenomenon.

And they're completely right. The reason why they aren't totally sure is that they don't know where the spell came from. And the reason why they don't know where it came from is that the creator of the spell never bothered to tell anyone he did it.

Lifeweaver

Before humans and dwarves even had cities on the Eastern Continent, there were no hobgoblins and orcs, but there were goblins. And goblins in those days were a fair bit smarter than they are now, but still quite weak, and easily hunted. Things became even worse when some human idiot tried riding a horse for the first time, and managed to actually get somewhere with it. The advent of horsemanship was threatening to bring goblins to extinction. In those days, the most powerful goblin Wielder of the Talent, that strange power to affect the world just with the will, was a recluse they called Lifeweaver. Barely anyone ever saw him, because as much as he liked tinkering with living things, he didn't much like when they tried talking to him. But he was the type of person who hates people in particular but loved them in the abstract, so when he came up with a fix for the goblins' calamity, he cultivated his Talent until he was able to create the spell, and then did. He just never bothered to let anyone know. He's still alive (having figured out early on how to Will himself to stop aging), but doesn't really bother with his own kind (or anyone else's), except to check every once in a while to make sure they aren't liable to go extinct.

How Does It Work?

If the greenskins knew, they definitely wouldn't tell you. But they themselves don't know, and different hobgoblins and orcs have different theories of how they managed to get "ready" to transform. Most goblins die without ever finding themselves suddenly compelled to stuff themselves and curl into the fetal position, ready to make themselves new bodies. That's why the most common greenskins are goblins, then hobgoblins, and then orcs. One popular view is that to get ready to transform, you have to get really strong, which is why goblins love calisthenics, and hobgoblins love lifting weights. But that doesn't seem to work for everyone. Meanwhile, Ubrikdke the Almighty, the most famous orc sorcerer in recent history, reportedly felt her first pangs of cocoon-hunger as a hobgoblin after waking up at her desk where she had fallen asleep memorizing spell incantations. Lifeweaver only knows what the greenskin life cycle's requirements really are, and he sure isn't talking.